Dish #41: HOT vs. Seriously NOT

The Dish: I've been cruising under the radar for the past months. In the name of the New Year, I feel that it is necessary to lay down some basic ground rules. Here’s my "Top 10 What's Hot and (Seriously) What's Not in 2010"

#10
HOT: Natural-looking grey hair styles. It’s time we embrace the aging, natural look. People go out of their ways to colour their hair to all sorts of crazy shades and colours. Sometimes, the colours that they choose do not match their skin colour and can make the appearance of lines, age spots and wrinkles even more prominent. There are some really cool grey cuts out there that can feel fresh and uplifting. Just look at Jamie Lee Curtis.
NOT: Washed out highlights that remind everyone of how awful the 90s was. Dry, coloured split-ends and vibrant colours that are clearly not the same shade as your eyebrows should both stay where they belong: two decades ago and secured in the yellowing Nice ‘n’ Easy box they came out of.

#9
HOT: Celebrity marriages, divorces, hook-ups and breakups. Let’s face it. Our lives will never be as interesting as those millionaire bastards down in California. As much as we hate how rich and untalented most of them are, we don’t mind delving ourselves into their soap opera world once in a while. A little juicy fresh gossip makes all our boring cubicle monkey lives a little brighter, one “Taylor Swift is dating John Mayer!?” at a time.
NOT: Celebrity deaths and drug scandals. This is not to be confused with sex scandals because we love knowing that Tiger Woods is hiding in shame somewhere in the world. It’d be nice to take a break from the Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger and Brittany Murphy stories for a while.

#8
HOT: Tights. These sexy wardrobe must-haves go well with an assortment of other wardrobe basics like short skirts, long dresses, long shirts etc. They have been trendy for a while and I just love how many colours they come in. I can even adore the glittery ones because they are just that awesome. Plus, they keep our legs warm and let us go unshaven for days.
NOT: Leg warmers. I don’t understand why they were ever brought back into clothing stores. They make you resemble a poodle. If you’re cold around the ankles, invest in a pair of boots. Oh or here’s an idea, wear pants.

#7
HOT: Leather everything: bags, shoes, jackets, gloves, belts, jewellery; I could even grow to accept a leather shirt. (There is, however, one exception.)
NOT: Leather pants. I'm not even sure if they were ever trendy at any given point since the invention of pants. Club Monaco is trying to bring them back. Bad move. Even ‘Catwoman’ Halle Berry couldn’t pull them off, which, my friends, should be the clearest hint that the rest of us should never ever touch a pair of tight leather pants.

#6
HOT: Donations. Clothes, money, toys or food are always needed in another’s hands. Especially with recent natural disasters and ongoing manmade destruction, it will be worthwhile to take a moment out of our ridiculously privileged lives to think and help those whose lives are thrown into turmoil each and every single day.
NOT: Scrounging. We all do it whether we admit it or not. Isn’t it time we stop ‘borrowing’ little things from other people and went out and bought our own? It’s a new year so everybody should take time to straighten up their behaviour a little. Yes, this includes other people’s food in public fridges, office supplies, garage sales and even makeup - although, technically, you’re paying to collect other people’s junk at a garage sale.

#5
HOT: The Dimensional Shag. This is haircutting trend is quite popular with the celebs at the moment. (Check out pictures of Sandra Bullock, Zoe Saldana and Anna Paquin at this year’s Golden Globes.) It’s described as a deconstructed haircut which simply means that the haircut is less defined so the hair can be worn in more than one style. It goes oh-so-mighty well with bangs. With the right colour, this haircut can be worn in at least 3 different ways. We love getting more than we paid for, no?
NOT: Mohawks, “flicked” hair and the tousled perm, in fact, any form of 70s hairstyles, for the lack of a better phrase, are “just not cool”. They were back when everyone was too high to notice or care. In 2010, we can do much better, yes?

#4
HOT: Thongs that ride up your butt crack. Women feel sexy in them. Men love seeing women in them. We all need a little bit more sexiness in our lives. Plus, they also prevent VPL.
NOT: Super tight work pants that ride up your butt crack. Nobody will find your ass attractive when they are constantly reminded of how skinny it used to be in your early 20s. It’s time to invest in new work pants when you clearly no longer fit into the pair you bought for your first job.

#3
HOT: A healthy lifestyle. Eating a variety of produce and meats, drinking lots of water, consuming fruits and vegetables, exercising and even a regular bowel movement is super in nowadays. Yogurts promote probiotics. Juices now have added extra calcium and vitamins. To my disappointment, everything is becoming whole wheat. I know it’s better for me but seriously it tastes like crap. Next thing we know, candy is going to be 12 grain. Oh well, I might not like it but it is definitely trendy to treat and pamper our bodies in this new decade.
NOT: A healthy lifestyle so healthy that you have assigned your daily 10 o’clock hour to the office washroom to do your number 2. Seriously, a lack of workplace washroom etiquette is a big no-no. I am speaking here from personal trauma. There is this chick on our floor who does exactly this and it’s just not very kind. We can understand the occasional need to use the office washroom for business other than urinating and powdering your nose but turning it to a regular routine is just impolite. There is a place for everything and that we call your home.

#2
HOT: The XXI Olympic Winter Games. Figure skating, alpine skiing, luge, hockey and snowboarding are just four of the 15 winter sport events at which over 80 countries from all over the world will compete against each other starting February 12 in Vancouver, BC. Aside from that the fact that we are hosting the event, what’s exciting is that Canada usually kicks ass during the Winter Games. Plus, we will have plenty of real-time coverage and entertainment on TV for at least two weeks.
NOT: The XXI Olympic Winter Games mascots. Quatchi, a sasquatch, looks like a pedophile. Miga, an orca/kermot bear, looks like a one-eyed pirate mutant squirrel that suffers from ADHD. Mukmuk, a marmot, looks like a hamster. And Sumi, the animal guardian spirit, has five feather-fingers (?!) and it looks like the poor thing has an UFO-looking explosive strapped to his flat little skull. Plus, they remind me of the ones they designed for the Beijing summer Olympics.

#1
HOT: Singing and dancing in public. This is definitely something we need more of. It brings joy to people. Who doesn’t like a good tune from time to time? Think about it, it’d make the commute home every day after work so much more pleasant. Besides, with ‘Glee’ and Broadway musicals becoming more popular with the general public these days, it goes to show that we all need more joyful melodies to uplift our consumerist lives, especially in gloomy economic times.
NOT: Farting in public.

What's your #1 Hot and Not for 2010?