The Dish: I almost feel embarassed writing this. Why? It proves that I really watch way too much TV. Television is a great invention. I personally can't go by without my weekly dose of Heroes, American Idol and Grey's Anatomy. We all love it to some degree. There is no other feeling that can compare to turning on the television and stumbling upon a fresh new show that you were previously unaware of and be pleasantly entertained for a good solid hour or two. Compared to film and books, it is the quick and dirty escape to an alternate reality. However, with the recent rise in the popularity of reality-type television shows, the quality of prime time has proportionally (if not exponentially) decreased as we are offered shows such as The Swan, Snoop Dog's Fatherhood, Temptation Island and Married by America. (Seriously?) If you have not heard of any of the shows mentioned above, consider yourself very lucky. Unfortunately, I have. Furthermore, here's even worse news. To add on to the list of the dumbest and most terrifyingly-unbearable reality TV shows EVER made or even considered, please welcome "THE OSBOURNES: RELOADED".
Top 10 things I'd ALMOST rather do than watch this show:
10. Listen to Willian Hung sing...for eternity.
9. Live in a spaceship with 12 monkeys and a goat until they all die.
8. Diminish my IQ equivalent to that of lab rat. (Maybe then I'll enjoy the show.)
7. Listen to Mariah Carey sing...for eternity.
6. Lose hearing in one ear.
5. Gain 200 lbs.
4. Eat a live spider.
3. Strangle a cute, little puppy and watch it die in my arms.
2. Date William Hung.
1. Be on "THE OSBOURNES: RELOADED".
Harsh, but: It's the truth. I researched the show briefly. The show's purpose remains quite vague to me but it seems to be a copycat of 'Howie Do It' by Howie Mandell. The acts are supposed to scandalous and fun(ny), full of variety and novelty. Sadly, it does not even live up to the minimal requirement of any reality TV show: entertainment. The show was shortened to a mere 35 minutes. Even FOX (oh you could've guess...) reckoned the public audience didn't deserve such torturous bullshit for an entire full hour.
I caught a glimpse of it after leaving the tube on after American Idol had ended. I felt reason sucked out of my brain as I watched a teary-eyed Sharon Osbourne comfort a crying bride (who looked as if she was about to faint) that in order for her to be married tonight, her boyfriend (who I assumed was oblivious to the fact that he had been made a groom against his will) must utter 'I do' when the priest asks him if he was willing to take his desperate girlfriend as his wife. HUH? Why any woman would make a man she loves go through such a horrifying act of embarassment is beyond me! What, you expect him to say no on national television? Not everybody is prepared to be America's most hated man like Jason Mesnick. The show stoops even lower when Ozzy Osbourne pulls out some sort of gun and frantically sprays every audience member, his wife, his daughter and eventually himself with white whipped cream. Everyone starts touching themselves and smearing white crap all over each other. I thought I was seeing the vampire party scene all over again from Blade with whipped cream replacing the blood. Oh and I think there was some band playing but who gives a crap.
Here's a link on YouTube of the preview of the show. Judge for yourself. The whipped cream part is at the end of the video. Some things should be left in the coffin forever. The Osbournes is one of them.
Top 10 things I'd ALMOST rather do than watch this show:
10. Listen to Willian Hung sing...for eternity.
9. Live in a spaceship with 12 monkeys and a goat until they all die.
8. Diminish my IQ equivalent to that of lab rat. (Maybe then I'll enjoy the show.)
7. Listen to Mariah Carey sing...for eternity.
6. Lose hearing in one ear.
5. Gain 200 lbs.
4. Eat a live spider.
3. Strangle a cute, little puppy and watch it die in my arms.
2. Date William Hung.
1. Be on "THE OSBOURNES: RELOADED".
Harsh, but: It's the truth. I researched the show briefly. The show's purpose remains quite vague to me but it seems to be a copycat of 'Howie Do It' by Howie Mandell. The acts are supposed to scandalous and fun(ny), full of variety and novelty. Sadly, it does not even live up to the minimal requirement of any reality TV show: entertainment. The show was shortened to a mere 35 minutes. Even FOX (oh you could've guess...) reckoned the public audience didn't deserve such torturous bullshit for an entire full hour.
I caught a glimpse of it after leaving the tube on after American Idol had ended. I felt reason sucked out of my brain as I watched a teary-eyed Sharon Osbourne comfort a crying bride (who looked as if she was about to faint) that in order for her to be married tonight, her boyfriend (who I assumed was oblivious to the fact that he had been made a groom against his will) must utter 'I do' when the priest asks him if he was willing to take his desperate girlfriend as his wife. HUH? Why any woman would make a man she loves go through such a horrifying act of embarassment is beyond me! What, you expect him to say no on national television? Not everybody is prepared to be America's most hated man like Jason Mesnick. The show stoops even lower when Ozzy Osbourne pulls out some sort of gun and frantically sprays every audience member, his wife, his daughter and eventually himself with white whipped cream. Everyone starts touching themselves and smearing white crap all over each other. I thought I was seeing the vampire party scene all over again from Blade with whipped cream replacing the blood. Oh and I think there was some band playing but who gives a crap.
Here's a link on YouTube of the preview of the show. Judge for yourself. The whipped cream part is at the end of the video. Some things should be left in the coffin forever. The Osbournes is one of them.
No comments:
Post a Comment