Dish #73 - Hide 'em All in Rehab.

The Dish: Heads up. There is something wrong with Charlie Sheen. I keep seeing him on ET (for reasons which remain a mystery). My guess is that there is a lawsuit involved or that he is being his usual aggressive-aggressive-substance-abuse self. With so much nonsense going on in that man's life (his fight with cigarettes, with alcohol, with his producers, with being unemployed because of his fight with his producers, with drugs and with all his other addictions), why hasn't anyone pitched a reality show starring Sheen already? I propose a one-man version of Celebrity Rehab mixed Armed & Famous and Temptation Island. That should grab better ratings than Secret Millionaire.

'Just have fun': That's a direct quote. It's easy to say when you're Kim Kardashian. She has debuted her first new single. It's called 'Jam (Turn It Up)'. It's very personal. She explores issues like partying, spending money and 'feeling good' and 'Imam burn it out tonight [...] By live via satellite'. Poor thing, she's trying so hard. The song is for a charitable cause. Ok, that's still not enough to redeem how shitty and ridiculously uninspiring the song is. It's total garbage. I feel bad for the charity. (Note: The following 'music' contains a subject matter and is generally rated to not be suitable for extended exposure. If you experience a sudden upset in stomach or hallucinations showing the end of the world, pressing the pause button immediately is strongly suggested. Listeners' discretion is advised.)



They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no': Well-penned, Amy Winehouse. But it's Christina Aguilera that has a drinking problem this time. They all crack at some point, don't they? Her friends are urging her to seek rehab. Even her ex-husband is concerned for their child's safety. Xtina, however, is firmly refusing treatment. I'm casting her in my fake Charlie Sheen reality show The Secret American Dream: Real Celebrities Against Rehab. I guess Lindsey could guest star.

And lastly: A lock of Justin Bieber's hair auctioned for $40,668US. Talk about social injustice.