'Just have fun': That's a direct quote. It's easy to say when you're Kim Kardashian. She has debuted her first new single. It's called 'Jam (Turn It Up)'. It's very personal. She explores issues like partying, spending money and 'feeling good' and 'Imam burn it out tonight [...] By live via satellite'. Poor thing, she's trying so hard. The song is for a charitable cause. Ok, that's still not enough to redeem how shitty and ridiculously uninspiring the song is. It's total garbage. I feel bad for the charity. (Note: The following 'music' contains a subject matter and is generally rated to not be suitable for extended exposure. If you experience a sudden upset in stomach or hallucinations showing the end of the world, pressing the pause button immediately is strongly suggested. Listeners' discretion is advised.)
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no': Well-penned, Amy Winehouse. But it's Christina Aguilera that has a drinking problem this time. They all crack at some point, don't they? Her friends are urging her to seek rehab. Even her ex-husband is concerned for their child's safety. Xtina, however, is firmly refusing treatment. I'm casting her in my fake Charlie Sheen reality show The Secret American Dream: Real Celebrities Against Rehab. I guess Lindsey could guest star.
And lastly: A lock of Justin Bieber's hair auctioned for $40,668US. Talk about social injustice.
