Dish #74 - Throwing out the Trash.

The Dish: It's time for the year-round spring cleaning.

Body-bagged, or not: Obama says Osama's dead. (Somehow it brings me slight amusement that their names rhyme and 'b' and 's' aren't even that far away from each other on the keyboard.) What is even sillier is that the news first erupted on Twitter. Once again, we are proven that much of this world rests on the tiny little shoulders of an azure, helpless-looking bird.  According to sources, Keith Urbahn, once chief of staff for former defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld, posted this note on Twitter: "So I'm told by a reputable person they have killed Osama Bin Laden. Hot damn." Indeed, my friend. So, drag it out to the sidewalk (by sidewalk I mean the sea) and no one'll utter 'RIP'.

Trumped 'n' trashed: The most delusional person on the face of the earth at the moment must be Donald Trump. He's quite adamant about running for presidency in the US. It has always pained me to look at his comb over and now I have to look at his comb over and watch him pretend like he knows something about the world outside of New York City. How far is he going to take this? Not only has he attacked the legitimacy of Barack Obama's birth certificate---to which Mr. Obama responded with a semi-effective snippet of Simba's birth from Disney's The Lion King, although not very classy either coming from an American president---he has also attacked the legitimacy of Barack Obama's birth certificate on The View. (His ridonculoso babblings actually made the hosts seem rather intelligent.) But people are missing the real issue at hand here: Melania Trump as First Lady.

Compost for thought: Now, with the royal wedding over, here's some real gossip to think about: Pippa Middleton & Prince Harry. At least she looks less trashy than Chelsy Davy and way less orange.

Dish #31 - War!

The Dish: There hasn't been some good solid gossip in the music industry since MJ's passing away and the investigation of his crazy doc. So imagine my excitement when I hear about ... wait for it ... the EMINEM-MARIAH CAREY FEUD that's currently brewing. Yep, a series of swear words, crude lyrics and badly written songs have been exploding over the airwaves recently between the two biggest divas of contemporary music history. So what does these two passee artists with egos that could surpass the capacity of Mariah's fake boobs have to argue about?

An affair: That's right. Eminem claims that Mariah is denying the affair that they had all the way back in 2001 AND if she and her (unfortunate thing of a) husband Nick Cannon continues to deny it, he's going to leak racy photos, voicemails and intimate details of this supposed and very sexual relationship. Ooooo, now you have my attention.

Quick Summary of Event:
- Eminem hints of an affair with M.C. in his song 'Bagpipes of Bagdad'
- Mr. Cannon lashes out that Em is still obsessed with his wife. Meanwhile, M.C. writes a song called (none other than) 'Obssessed'. (Creative, I know. That's how I found out about this whole thing. I was watching the video and was wondering if the song was about a crazy incident with a delusional fan. So, it turns out I was right.)
- Em responds promptly and 'politely' with a new song called 'The Warning', rapping poetic lyrics exerpted as follows:

I’m ‘obsessed’ now

Oh gee, that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee

Wow Mariah, didn’t expect her to go balls out

Bitch shut the f**k up

Before I put all those phone calls out

That you made to my house

When you was wild ’n out before Nick

When you was on my dick

and give you something to smile about.

- Ouf. Lame but harsh nonetheless. Now the ball is in M.C.'s court.

The Verdict: I desperately wait for the rush-release of another horribly written song by Mr. Cannon's lovely wife.

Extra: To check out the YouTube music video of 'Obssessed' to understand the goatee part in Em's song, click here.